How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk – Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish

Review From User :

A friend, a previous yeller, recommended this book. I found it very helpful, especially since we just had our second child who had colic and the 6 year old and I were no longer communicating well.

It teaches a way to talk that names emotions, and acknowledges the emotions that often a child cannot articulate.

For example, instead of saying "You shouldn't be mad at your brother, he's only three!" you say "I can see that it makes you angry when he messes up your things. But yelling is not allowed in our house." or, "He's too young to understand how special those are to you, so how can we keep your things safe"

You let your child know you are paying attention to how they feel, before you focus on solving the problem and it seems to release a pressure valve for them and for you.

The second thing they emphasize is to make correcting behavior about the behavior, and not about the child. Instead of "Get your homework! You always forget things!" you just say, "Homework needs to go to school with you."

There techniques eliminate the blaming and other behaviors we learned as children and replace them with more helpful ways to dialogue and focus on solving the problem versus seeking to blame. One of the best communication books I've ever read.


Category: Adults, Science, Self-help

Internationally acclaimed adult-child communication experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish’s How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk is a communication tool-kit based on the authors’ popular workshop series. This 30th-anniversary edition offers renewed insight to parents for communicating with their children while avoiding dramatic confrontation.

The ultimate “parenting bible” (The Boston Globe) with a new Foreword-and available as an eBook for the first time-a timeless, beloved book on how to effectively communicate with your child from the #1 New York Times bestselling authors.

Internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish “are doing for parenting today what Dr. Spock did for our generation” (Parent Magazine). Now, this bestselling classic includes fresh insights and suggestions as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships, including innovative ways to:

· Cope with your child’s negative feelings, such as frustration, anger, and disappointment
· Express your strong feelings without being hurtful
· Engage your child’s willing cooperation
· Set firm limits and maintain goodwill
· Use alternatives to punishment that promote self-discipline
· Understand the difference between helpful and unhelpful praise
· Resolve family conflicts peacefully

Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, the down-to-earth, respectful approach of Faber and Mazlish makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.

Even parents who roll their eyes at parenting advice will appreciate this excellent communication lesson from two friendly parenting experts. Voice pro Susan Bennett speaks at a wonderful pace and makes the parent-child dialogues sound understandable, emotionally authentic, and engaging. The urgency heard on and off throughout her performance will resonate with the parent who is at the end of his or her rope. Bennett’s seriousness is nicely balanced by her accessible voice and congruent emotional tone. The book, an updated international

01 - How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk

02 - A Note to Listeners

03 - How to Use This Book

04 - Chapter 1

05 - Chapter 2

06 - Chapter 3

07 - Chapter 4

08 - Chapter 5

09 - Chapter 6

10 - Chapter 7