Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood

Review From User :

Children are like very small terrorists: You can't negotiate with them.

Parenthood.

If you've been there and done that, this one is for you. And if you haven't, this book will better prepare you for the reality of spending 24 hours a day with a baby/toddler/child than any of the What to Expect books EVER will.

I cannot express enough how truly HORRIFYING it is to have this...this...THING around ALL THE TIME! This thing that needs you for its very survival. This thing that as soon as it is mobile, will attempt to kill itself daily. Its head gravitates toward all things sharp and pointy. Blink your eyes for a second and it will hurl itself down the nearest staircase. Don't ever let it near the cat's litter box.

And yet...

Believe it or not, there are rewards, little pleasures both warm and sappy, moments that will bring tears to your eyes. Not to mention the great stories that will someday embarrass the crap out of our children; anecdotes that we will tell again and again in the presence of said children, for the rest of our lives.

I give you, The Electric Toothbrush Incident:

...the boy took the brush out of his mouth and stared down at his dick. Then he looked up at me. I knew what was coming next. There are moments when you know exactly what's going to happen, only you're powerless to stop it.

I screamed out, "NOT ON YOUR PENIS, NOOOOO!"

But he was too fast and I was too old and fat. The vibrating brush went right down onto his dick, which I'm sure felt terrific to him. And then, once the boy felt his dick was sufficiently brushed, he stuck it back in his mouth. Then he giggled.

Parenthood.

The good, the bad, the ugly and the projectile vomiting. All the awful, infuriating, hilarious and touching moments. This book nails it!


A sharp, funny, and heartfelt memoir about fatherhood and the ups and downs of raising a family in modern America

Expand text…
No one writes about family quite like Drew Magary. The GQ correspondent and Deadspin columnist’s stories about trying to raise a family have attracted millions of readers online. And now he’s finally bringing that unique voice to a memoir. In Someone Could Get Hurt, he reflects on his own parenting experiences to explore the anxiety, rationalizations, compromises, and overpowering love that come with raising children in contemporary America.

In brutally honest and funny stories, Magary reveals how American mothers and fathers cope with being in over their heads (getting drunk while trick-or-treating, watching helplessly as a child defiantly pees in a hotel pool, engaging in role-play with a princess-crazed daughter), and how stepping back can sometimes make all the difference (talking a toddler down from the third story of a netted-in playhouse, allowing children to make little mistakes in the kitchen to keep them from making the bigger ones in life). It’s a celebration of all the surprises – joyful and otherwise – that come with being part of a real family.

In the wake of recent bestsellers that expose how every other culture raises their children better, Someone Could Get Hurt offers a hilarious and heartfelt defense of American child rearing with a glimpse into the genuine love and compassion that accompany the missteps and flawed logic. It’s the story of head lice, almost-dirty words, and flat head syndrome, and a man trying to commit the ultimate act of selflessness in a selfish world.

Someone Could Get Hurt - Part 1

Someone Could Get Hurt - Part 2

Someone Could Get Hurt - Part 3

Someone Could Get Hurt - Part 4